Giving Engaged Feedback
Are you ready to give feedback?
Giving & Receiving Feedback is a program that I have taught to People-leaders at all levels and, to this date, is one that I still hear people talk about even though they took the program 5-10+ years ago! Not long ago I heard from a past class participant, and he said “Arrrrrgh Matey! See, I still remember that from your feedback workshop!” It always makes me smile to have made an impact. (Sidenote: yes, I use pirate speak when I do feedback training; it is a fun way to make learning stick!)
This week, as I prep for a Dare to Lead keynote and a follow-up session on Courageous Feedback, which I will be delivering in NY state, I am thinking about how the great tools from Dare to Lead mix so well with my more tactical workshop; I am so excited to be able to meld the two.
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown tells us that Clear is Kind –> Unclear is Unkind. Dr. Brown really takes giving feedback to the next level by providing tips on how to give feedback to your team in a thoughtful and impactful way.
The Engaged Feedback Checklist reminds us to stop and pay attention to our emotions and attitude. It also prompts us to pay attention to the reason we are giving feedback — especially negative or developmental feedback.
On the Engaged Feedback Checklist, every self-check-in starts with “I know that I’m ready to give feedback when…”
For example, I know that I’m ready to give feedback when … I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
What happens when we go through this checklist prior to giving feedback? It helps us to get clear on our motives for giving feedback to our employees, team, peers, etc. When we are clear on our motives, we can give constructive and honest feedback from a place of engagement, rather than judgment. Brené Brown uses the metaphor ‘Sitting on the same side of the table.’ and it helps to build trust for both parties as you are working on the issues together.
Download the full checklist here: https://daretolead.brenebrown.com//srv/htdocs/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/DaringFeedback-EngagedFeedbackChecklist11.pdf
My personal favorite from the checklist is I know that I’m ready to give feedback when … I’m willing to own my part. When there is a developmental feedback opportunity, it makes me stop and think…
Was I clear on goals/expectations setting? (Often I have some ownership in this - which is why I use the 5Cs, which I’ll cover in the next blog post. Keep an eye out!)
Did I provide the support needed for the person to achieve their goals?
Were the resources available for the employee to be successful?
Did I check in or follow-up as promised?
By asking these questions of ourselves as leaders, we own our part in their growth and overall success.